Ah, Christmastime. Department stores blast heinously over-played jingles, radio stations refuse to play anything but carols for the entire month of December. Singers further commercialize themselves by churning out “holiday” albums filled with souped-up versions of seasonal standards. Does Christmas music make you want to gag? Listen to these eight songs and think again.
River – Joni Mitchell
Joni recounts the ways corporations bastardize the holiday’s true meaning. It’s the only Christmas song she’s ever released, and needless to say, it’s brilliant.
I Won’t Be Home For Christmas – Blink-182
The pop-punkers get violent on a group of pesky albeit well-intentioned carolers and spend Christmas night in jail. Merry indeed.
Jingle Bells – Barbara Streisand
What happens when a record label forces a nice Jewish girl, like Babs, to crank out a song in the Christmas spirit? She takes the reindeer by the horns and comes up with an endearingly theatrical, thoroughly entertaining track like this.
Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt
Hands down the sexiest song ever written about the bearded man in red. It’s feminine, alluring, and cute as hell. I don’t think anyone is immune to its charm.
This Christmas (Please Come Home) – Death Cab For Cutie
A really good Death Cab song is warm, earnest and sincere. Ben Gibbard’s voice is ripe with genuine emotion on this beautifully simple song, which easily falls amongst their best.
The Christians and the Pagans – Dar Williams
A conservative Christian man is visited by his lesbian niece and her partner for Christmas dinner. They’re able to put aside their differences on this heartfelt, intelligent song.
Jesus Walks – Kanye West
If one song could make this apathetic atheist pine for a seat in the church pew, this would be it. “They say you can rap about everything except for Jesus / that means guns, sex, lies, videotapes / but if I talk about God my record won’t get played.” Kanye takes Christianity to the streets with fervent soul.
Happy Xmas (War Is Over) – John Lennon
To John, Christmas is a time of hope for a peaceful future. The bittersweet ditty rings more relevant than ever.
